A great songwriter once wrote
” if I could start again, a million miles away,
I would keep myself, I would find a way”
I’ve sang this song over and over, and the words always hold the same meaning. I’ve lost myself time and time again over the years.
It’s not uncommon to get into situations where you realize that you’re suffering or holding yourself back, and pulling yourself out isn’t easy.
It could be a job, relationship, personal battle, family issue, or so much more. We lose pieces of ourselves to obligations and choices which, at the time, seem plausible, but in the end, aren’t right for us.
This year I had to let go of my best friend of 10 years, a career of almost a decade, a man I loved and looked up to, and a ton of anger. It seems like a lot to lose, but these are all things I needed to part with to move forward. Was it easy?
But in reality, this year has been the best fucking year of my life. After allllll the things I’ve done and seen in my life, and trust me, there is so much, this year essentially held a mirror up to me & showed me all the ugly parts.
So much had to change. If you don’t change, nothing changes, if you won’t change, nothing changes.
Living on my own for the first time in years made me respect and value my space more, giving up going out 4-5 nights a week to stay in and focus on my dog/home life made me realize how much trouble you don’t get into, reading more books & doing yoga aided in expanding my mind and thought process. Introversion made me more chill and aware of my actions around people.
And most of all, starting at a new job at an entry level position with a huge resume will humble you like nothing else. Thankfully this company saw my potential and challenged me to move up into elevated positions & let me learn and travel in the process.
This year, was a total shit show, but I’d rather have a year that pushes limits and forces change as opposed to a stagnant ” normal” 12 months of a so called life.
I’m so thankful for all the people I’ve met this year, and wish the best for the people I’ve left behind.
And as for ” starting again” &
” keeping myself ”
I feel like I did pretty fucking good this year,
It’s nice to lose the mentality of who you used to be and realize that the past is the past, and ANYTHING can happen in the future.
Take all the chances, love all the people around you, put your phone down and breathe in your surroundings, and learn that if everything seems in control, you’re not going fast enough ( Mario Andretti)
Live Loud ❤️